Ready? Action! Making Moves in Square 3
Change is uncomfortable – it pushes you to your edge and then makes you stretch farther. The process is jarring, confusing at times, and usually quite challenging. Then, one day you turn around, look behind you, and with the right vantage point, survey the progress.
When you look at it that way, change is immensely gratifying, even inspiring, so why do we resist it?
Because it takes work. If I want to move to a better house, I have to clean this one up to sell it.
It takes honesty. My boyfriend’s an asshole and is never going to change. I need to leave him for good.
You may lose sleep. My dream job requires an advanced degree. I will have to take night classes while working full-time.
It can hurt. Running a ½ marathon means I actually have to run. Like, a lot.
The shift may not happen as quickly as you like. Building a client base for my real estate business is taking years.
Plus, you may fail and have to try again.
Sounds like a cake walk, right?
Whether you choose your change, dream it, or are forced into it because of an event or circumstance, one day you will wake up with an urge to just do something already.
To move, take action and get on with it. You have envisioned the goal and now is the time to act.
The third phase in the Change Cycle is where the hands-on, nitty gritty work takes place. This is where the shift from dreaming to action occurs. Martha Beck calls this stage the Hero’s Saga. This is where the rubber meets the road. And, believe me, it takes some heroic effort.
The daydreaming, casting vision, and calling out the huge goal – that is light-filled, hopeful and thrill of Square 2. But as you guessed — your dream, the level you seek, and the move you want to make will not just magically occur.
You have now arrived at the threshold of possibility, so what are you waiting for? Bust that door open and get started.
As one of my favorite authors, Jen Sincero says, “[I]n order to kick ass you must first lift your foot.”
Easier said than done, huh? Have you ever looked at a big project and thought – “I have no idea where to start?” Or, did you just jump in (like I often do), and find yourself pulled in different directions leaving tasks half-finished or at less than your standard? Did you feel scattered and overwhelmed?
I have been there. Years ago, when I was building my first business, I had all the electricity and excitement of possibility and greatness, yet my mind was flooded by ideas and tasks. Every time I would begin to make progress on one, I would be pulled in a different direction, distracted by another action item.
The “to-do” list kept growing but I felt like I was spinning my wheels and staying in one place. I couldn’t organize my priorities or systematize my actions. In a frustrated moment I vented to a good friend about my lack of progress and how drained I felt. My friend, a seasoned entrepreneur, reminded me to do something so simple.
Chunk it down.
Would I run a ½ marathon after only jogging one mile in gym class fourteen years ago? Hell no. I was trying to approach my business at all angles at the same time. Of course I wasn’t making meaningful progress because I had no focus – I thought I had to do it all at once to achieve the big picture. Spoiler alert - this approach doesn’t work.
To make meaningful progress and use my energy efficiently, I had to break every task down into clear and manageable actions that gradually built towards the end goal.
Ahhhh. Sounds cliché, but it is true – start small. Very small. And, if needed, so small that the act can only be seen with a microscope. Well, maybe not that tiny, but you get my drift.
One of my clients, let’s call her Lucy, was launching her new business at an upcoming event. Lucy’s mind was swirling, she felt scattered and freaked out. Her identity had shifted from a stay-at-home mom to a business owner and now her dream of having her own culinary business had come to fruition. Here she was, starting the marathon with no training miles behind her and she could not see the finish line. She was trying to do too much all at once and she was stuck.
She wasn’t ready to give up, but she was second-guessing every decision and wasting energy on insignificant tasks. As a busy mom with very busy kids, she had limited time each day to work in her business and was losing ground because it all felt too big. She had amazing ideas and a drive to succeed but she wasn’t getting anywhere.
So, we started small and simple.
First, we got clear on her immediate goal – To deliver an exemplary product and service at her first event.
Next, we worked backwards from her scheduled event date and prioritized the actions that related to that event only. We moved the items that were irrelevant to another list completely and she gave herself permission to ignore those ideas for now. For example, creating TikTok videos for her business moved off the event list and on to the “not now” list.
We kept each task on the priority list manageable within the parameters of her resources – energy and time. Her energy had to be laser focused so that she could crush each small action with confidence and competence.
We took time for Lucy to feel into each small step and notice how her body reacted to that proposed action – if her body reacted negatively or low energy, we recalibrated and made the action smaller or implemented alternatives to make it manageable.
One of Lucy’s tasks was finalizing the purchase of a vehicle to transport her food products, but the thought of negotiating the purchase felt heavy and disorienting. So, we got creative. Instead of negotiating the purchase in-person, taking hours of her time, Lucy negotiated with the dealer via text from the comfort of her home where she was able to clearly think through the proposed deal. What may have taken 1/2 a day took less than two hours from start to finish and Lucy was able to do other things while she waited for each text response. Her energy stayed high and her time was maximized.
To chunk down the action items for the event launch, we made each task super simple.
I wanted her to have the satisfaction of crossing items off the list with gusto – ideally every day! Seriously, the simpler the better. Checking off entries like “have kids move boxes from the back of the garage and unload into the freezer” gave Lucy momentum and confidence. Each time she crossed an item off of the list, she could see the finish line up ahead. With a clear mind and her energy aligned, she was able to fully focus on making a lasting impression with her first scheduled event. If it didn’t pertain to that end goal, she didn’t waste her precious time and energy on it.
Lucy executed her first event, and even with the jitters of launching her business to the public, she had a sense of calm and pride in the energy she had created in reaching her first milestone. Her journey in building this business is just beginning and she now has tools to confidently moves forward.
Just like actual birth, this stage of change is a bit messy, scary, and risky, but it is also full of creativity, immensely gratifying, and often exhilarating. This is where it takes shape, you experiment and you stretch.
The dream that has you smiling to yourself as you wait in line for coffee, or singing along with the radio as you drive your kids to soccer practice deserves to be nurtured and cherished.
Slow down, be patient, and get the training miles of small steps underneath you.
You are the hero of your own life. You get to do the epic shit that lights you up because you are choosing it.
